Patrick Bateman: Paul Allen has mistaken me for this dickhead Marcus Halberstram. It seems logical because Marcus also works at P&P and in fact does the same exact thing I do and he also has a penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses. Marcus and I even go to the same barber, although I have a slightly better haircut.
1. Team Fitz: Fueled by Morneau and Roberts, 21 TB's by Morneau OBP of .500. Roberts 19TB's, VMart only blemish for the week. Randy Wells has been his best pitcher 14K's in 14ip, whip under 1, Bedard picked up a win.
2. Team Riz: can't seem to get on base lately, Pierre has been hot, 22TB's and 3 steals, Votto back with 2HR's, Braun has been quiet after his hit on the wrist, Billingsley and CLee were average, Meche lit up, Haren stays solid.
3. Team Bags: OF carrying him with A Jones and Ichiro getting on base a ton, Ichiro with a .519 obp, Longoria playing well with 4runs and 4rbi's, great pitching by Lincecum, Felix the cat, Baker, all with wins and solid era and whip, pitching has vaulted Bags up.
4. Team Josh: Cruz is crushing the ball, 22TB's with 3 steals, Zobrist continues to get on base, .484 with 17TB's, Santana 2 wins, Gallardo strong going 8 without a win.
5. Team Sully: judgement time for team Sully, will he keep falling or begin his way back up? ARod back hot going 10/25, but Markakis cools off with only 8TB's over the week. Kemp and Granderson 3 steals each. Grienke CG as usual, If not for him Sully's staff would be knee deep in poop, CC solid but light on K's
6. Team Chris: Texy playing as well as anyone, 24TB's, .448 obp, Rios and Soriano tough week, Soriano battling a bad knee, staff doing well but awfully high WHIPs, cant win when your ace pours in a 1.42, Lidge and Lindstrom have been awful of late.
7. Team Crupi: McCann ripping the ball, hittin .500 since his DL stint, Pujols cold with 3 singles, Span getting an obp of .550, Verlander, Cueto, and Lackey all solid for the week, each going 7, Dempster and Maholm awful, Nolasco to the minors, Crup-a-looooop
8. Team Ev: A-Gonz hammering the ball around, Justin Upton 21TB's, 6 runs 2 steals, Ev's staff looks like a full body dry heave set to music, Dice-K is a disaster, Arroyo has been his best with 2 strong starts and 2 wins. Ace Liriano isn't what he was, now 2 years removed may not be the same again.
9. Team Sean: Mauer continues to rake, 9/8/0/16/.481, Loney 13 hits, mostly singles, but knocking people in, Bay cools off with 8TB's, Halladay good, Beckett untouchable
10. Team Sliggs: well well well, look who it is out of the basement, the big man, Casey Blake has been his best...yes Casey Blake, 15TB's, Kinsler cools off, Berkman still a disapointment, Holiday a solid singles hitter, good pitching though, fueled his move, Crapenter near perfect, Jackson and Wolf have been consistent, Papelbon tough week.
11. Team Brown: F Sanchez hit .500, Tejada 19TB's, McClouth 1for18, Peavy solid after his trade scare with 2 wins, Randy just had a nice start for #299, Chipper hurting and Hamilton cold off the DL
12. Team Crowley: Sizemore and Alexei picked it up after cold starts, Howard at an .269 obp, Pudge 1for11, Hunter with 9rbi's, pitching has been good with Cain and Kershaw picking up wins, Zambrano beats a water jug to death and gets a suspension...looked a lot like Shot LaBody out there...hmmmmmm.
stay thirsty my friends
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