Is this guy all done?

a week in review...

Patrick Bateman: Paul Allen has mistaken me for this dickhead Marcus Halberstram. It seems logical because Marcus also works at P&P and in fact does the same exact thing I do and he also has a penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses. Marcus and I even go to the same barber, although I have a slightly better haircut.

1. Team Fitz: Fueled by Morneau and Roberts, 21 TB's by Morneau OBP of .500. Roberts 19TB's, VMart only blemish for the week. Randy Wells has been his best pitcher 14K's in 14ip, whip under 1, Bedard picked up a win.

2. Team Riz: can't seem to get on base lately, Pierre has been hot, 22TB's and 3 steals, Votto back with 2HR's, Braun has been quiet after his hit on the wrist, Billingsley and CLee were average, Meche lit up, Haren stays solid.

3. Team Bags: OF carrying him with A Jones and Ichiro getting on base a ton, Ichiro with a .519 obp, Longoria playing well with 4runs and 4rbi's, great pitching by Lincecum, Felix the cat, Baker, all with wins and solid era and whip, pitching has vaulted Bags up.

4. Team Josh: Cruz is crushing the ball, 22TB's with 3 steals, Zobrist continues to get on base, .484 with 17TB's, Santana 2 wins, Gallardo strong going 8 without a win.

5. Team Sully: judgement time for team Sully, will he keep falling or begin his way back up? ARod back hot going 10/25, but Markakis cools off with only 8TB's over the week. Kemp and Granderson 3 steals each. Grienke CG as usual, If not for him Sully's staff would be knee deep in poop, CC solid but light on K's

6. Team Chris: Texy playing as well as anyone, 24TB's, .448 obp, Rios and Soriano tough week, Soriano battling a bad knee, staff doing well but awfully high WHIPs, cant win when your ace pours in a 1.42, Lidge and Lindstrom have been awful of late.

7. Team Crupi: McCann ripping the ball, hittin .500 since his DL stint, Pujols cold with 3 singles, Span getting an obp of .550, Verlander, Cueto, and Lackey all solid for the week, each going 7, Dempster and Maholm awful, Nolasco to the minors, Crup-a-looooop

8. Team Ev: A-Gonz hammering the ball around, Justin Upton 21TB's, 6 runs 2 steals, Ev's staff looks like a full body dry heave set to music, Dice-K is a disaster, Arroyo has been his best with 2 strong starts and 2 wins. Ace Liriano isn't what he was, now 2 years removed may not be the same again.

9. Team Sean: Mauer continues to rake, 9/8/0/16/.481, Loney 13 hits, mostly singles, but knocking people in, Bay cools off with 8TB's, Halladay good, Beckett untouchable

10. Team Sliggs: well well well, look who it is out of the basement, the big man, Casey Blake has been his best...yes Casey Blake, 15TB's, Kinsler cools off, Berkman still a disapointment, Holiday a solid singles hitter, good pitching though, fueled his move, Crapenter near perfect, Jackson and Wolf have been consistent, Papelbon tough week.

11. Team Brown: F Sanchez hit .500, Tejada 19TB's, McClouth 1for18, Peavy solid after his trade scare with 2 wins, Randy just had a nice start for #299, Chipper hurting and Hamilton cold off the DL

12. Team Crowley: Sizemore and Alexei picked it up after cold starts, Howard at an .269 obp, Pudge 1for11, Hunter with 9rbi's, pitching has been good with Cain and Kershaw picking up wins, Zambrano beats a water jug to death and gets a suspension...looked a lot like Shot LaBody out there...hmmmmmm.

stay thirsty my friends

I'll be back tomorrow...don't you guys worry

We're back and not much has changed....

Fitz still making a move to first, Sully fading slowly but surely, Dean is still terrible, and the staying power of one g_bag_shaw. Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone

Team Riz: Rollins 4/6 with a steal, Utley and Helton 14TB's, line of 8/12/1/25/.381. Juan Cruz lit up in a 1/3 of an inning.

Team Fitz: 3/7/0/14/.324, Ibanez hit his 15th, Roberts a HR, average pitching day, 13innings no wins, Morneau has been hot of late with Mauer back in the lineup, fueling his jump

Team Bagger: 16TB's last night, great pitching from Lincecum 10K's and "Scherez" 10K's, save from Rivera

Team Sully: Markakis 3/5 w 6TB's, Granderson HR, Greinke ND with 8K's in 6, Lester a win for the Sox, Franklin save, Sully needs to regain that hittin form

Team Josh: Nelson Cruz had a day with 2rbi's 2steals and 3TB's, HR by Zobrist (Dutch?), save Rodney, Percival implosion

Team Crupster: 4/3/0/11/.348, Pujols dinger, Uggla a HR on the bench , Heath Bell a win, Crupi staying stagnant, not really falling but showing no signs of moving up

Team CP: 6/2/1/17/.359, Texy stays hot 2/3, Wells and Pedroia 2/4, Ellsbury a steal, Oswalt still not looking great, Wainwright 8 2/3 with a win, didn't start Saunders who has been on a tear.

Team Brown: scrapes himself out of the basement to respectability, Phillips a HR, Tejada a solid game 5TB's, saves from Qualls and Hanrahan, Qualls struck out the side

Team Sean: a resurgence since Mauer has been back, huge line 8/16/1/31/.474, Cabrera 4/5 2 runs and 2 rbi's, Mauer 8TB's (of course), LaRoche a HR, save Hoffman and Fuentes

Team Ev: Cano a big game 3/4 with a HR 7TB's, 4/5/0/14/.324, Millwood ok but no win, goes 8

Team Crowley: Reynolds keeps playing well HR, steal, 3rbi's, Pence a HR, Howard 1/5 with a dinger, Upton 2/4

Team Sliggs: Slim's ace Edwin Jackson goes 8 strong for a win, 3/0/2/9/.324, no RBI's hurts, DLee 2/4, not much goin on here Slim

Blog will be back tomorrow fella's, sorry I have been swimmin in it.

In the meantime a few people should press this ASAP

These old timers play fantasy baseball...

Monday...Monday

So good to me...and this gentleman as well.

Let's take a look at who has been hot over the last week or so. While we're at it, let's see who has been cold as ice.

1. Team Riz: Hot, Juan Pierre, 7/5/4/17/.467. Cold, Mike Lowell 4/25 with 5 TB's.

2. Team Fitz: Hot Raul Ibanez 9/12/1/26/.576. Cold: Broxton, a save, a win, but a 9era and a 2.50whip. Tough to find anyone cold on Fitz team.

3. Team Sully: Hot, Michael Young 4/1/1/14/.500. Cold, Markakis 6/24 9TB's and .308 obp

4. Team Bags: Hot, Bartlett 6/4/4/18/.500 Cold, Corey Hart, 3/15, 6TB's

5. Team Josh: Hot, Wright 5/9/5/20/.625. Cold, Nelson Cruz 4/16 5TB's, .278obp

6. Team Crupi: Hot, Hamels back on track. 7ip 9K's 1.29era Cold, Nolasco 19.64era

7. Team Chris: Hot, Weaver 15ip, 11k's 0.93whip, Cold Thome 4/4/0/15/.550obp.

8. Team Ev: Hot, Adrian Gonzalez 6/7/0/22/.393, Cold The three headed monster of Kaz 18.90era, Marquis 22.09era, and Danks 21.00era

9. Team Sean: Hot, Hawpe 6/12/0/18/.458. Cold Cantu 3/23 with 3 singles

10. Team Brown: Hot Werth 6/3/5/11/.414. Cold Bruce 3/27 .172obp

11. Team Crowlz: Hot, Parra 2 wins, 11 K's, 3.75era. Cold Sizemore 5/27 .231obp

12. Team Sliggs: Hot Holliday 4/3/1/10/.667obp. Cold Victorino 6/31 with 7TB's

Later Sully, Hello Fitz...

all the leaves are brown
and Sully is gey
I've been for a walk
on a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm
if I was in L.A
California Wertman on such a winter's day
stopped into a church
I passed along the way
well, I got down on my knees
and I pretend to pray
you know the preacher likes the cold
he knows I'm gonna stay
California Wertman on such a winter's day
all the leaves are brown
and Sully is gey
I've been for a walk
on a winter's day
if I didn't tell her
I could leave today
California Wertman on such a winter's day

Sully slipping as he sips his gey Pina Colada in L.A., Fitz takes advantage of Sully's left coast lifestyle and steals the 2nd spot. Let's see how this happened shall we?

Team Riz (91): that 1 is SB's just became a 2, starting Pierre and Taveras is a risky move but 8 steals in 4 days is where it's at. Cliff Lee strong in 7 with 9K's. Aces today, Josh Johnson and Chad Billingsley on the hill.

Team Fitz (82.5): Jesus, one of the best hitting days of all time, 14/9/1/33/.511. That's the way to jump Sully, Morneau dinger, C Lee 3/5, B Rob 2/4, Chris Young lit up. Riz has some more competition up at the top

Team Sully (81.5): Good day by the OF, Kemp 2/4, Granderson 3/6 with a steal, Abreu 1/3, win by Lilly, RP roughed up, Beimel 27.00 era, Morrow 54 era.

Team Bags (76.5): Bags staying strong, 0/6 by Longoria hurt, Bartlett a dinger 3/4 and a steal, M Cabrera a dinger, Buerhle good whip, bad era

Team Josh (73): Weeks a big day with 8TB's, looks like Josh's full time 2bag right now, Figgins takes a seat, Stewart a sneaky play with a HR, 24 TB's for the day, Percival solid with a 108.00 ERA

Team Crupi (69.5): This day was a mess. I urge everyone to look at it and heckle, started 2 people on the DL, 1 RBI, Nolasco got lit up AGAIN, Cueto solid and the only bright spot for the rumphumpster

Team Chris (63.5): Texy 2/4 with 2RBI's, Soriano hit his 11th home run, .310 OBP for the day is tough, needs more on base guys, Blalock 1/6, no pitchers went

Team Ev (56): 2 HR's by Adrian Gonzalez, Upton 2/3, Cano 2/5, Marquis roughed up with 22era and at this point shouldnt be a every week starter. Manny on the bench for some reason, I haven't heard why he is out.

Team Brown (55.5): wow, 16RBI's, 12/16/1/22/.463, great offensive numbers, Tejada, Chipper, and Phillips all big days, Hamilton a HR back from the DL

Team Sean (52.5): Bay and Loney combined 11TB's, Two good catcher with Mauer and Napoli, should trade one to get a starter. Washburn 6era and will be tough to ride all year, Pettite a nice game on the bench.

Team Crowley (43): Starting to hit, BJ 3/6, Torii Hunter 2/4, Hunter Pence 3/5 with a SB, 26TB's and a .512obp, rough save by Marmol with a 4whip

Team Sliggins (35.5): wow, how the mighty has fallen, Berkman 4/4, .500 OBP but only 10TB's, Wolf a nice game with an early lead, surprisingly good day for a team that usually craps the bed, only 55 points away Slim, keep reaching for the top

not many games yesterday...so I'll just post a pic of Sean Bakke

I'll trade you my lefty for your lefty

...and that was how the trade went down. Kazmir going to Ev, Ev sending Lester to Sully.

these guys enjoy a little Fantasy baseball now and then...

1. Team Riz (89.5) Bad OBP day yesterday, starting a thief at UTIL each night has helped in the SB category, Taveras or Pierre. Wilson grabbed a win, Soria to the DL.

2. Team Sully (88): Dunn with 2 HR's but pitching has been kncked around lately. A win, a save and an 11.57ERA. Grienke has carried the staff all year, better hope he continues, picked up Lester for Kaz

3. Team Bags (79.5): Longoria a quiet night for a change, Lincecum average in a no decision, A Jones stays solid with a 2/4. Capshaw had Mark Sherez on the bench

4. Team Fitz (77): win, save, 18K day, Joba win but a high whip, Garza solid against the Sox as usual, C Lee on the bench with a huge 4rbi game

5. Team Crupi (73): 4/9/1/11/.350, Pujols a HR, Duncan 3 RBI's, If Verlander can keep pitching out of his mind and Nolasco can get back to where he was last year, Crupi could have a pretty good staff heading into the summer.

6. Team Josh (72.5): 4/4/1/13/.333, OF has been quiet of late, Hanley has been picking it up, Wright still down a bit, Fukadome 2/3 with 2 doubles. Josh waiting for a break out game to get back up in the Top 3

7. Team Chris (67.5): 26TB's, 2 HR's Blalock, HR by Soriano, Wainwright and Oswalt both with 6era's, Oswalt picked up a win, Lidge shakey still

8. Team Ev (57.5): If Ev could only pitch...9/6/3/27/.528, Cano HR, Crawford, Upton, and Crisp SB's, Upton continues to outplay his bro, save Street. Picks up Kazmir from Sully

9. Team Sean (49): Loney goes 0/6 and I think it's time to ditch him, he is slugging .322, yes SLUGGING, his OPS is under .700, wow. Cantu to first, Teahen to 3rd, and Ortiz or Mags at UTIL, Mauer stays hot 2/4, Beckett decent against the Rays, save Fuentes.

10. Team Brown (46.5): Brown creepin up, Tejada 3/5 with 6TB's, McLouth HR, Volquez roughed up, save Perez and Qualls, win Ramirez for the Sox

11. Team Sligger (41): nice pitching day, win, save, 14K's, 2.87era, 1.53whip, Crush Davis dinger, tough OBP at .250, and I thought "dynastys" were supposed to always be competitive...

12. Team Crowley (39.5): good hitting day, 10/4/3/17/.349, Reyes good 5 cat day, Howard 2/4, save Gregg

NM 51

In the celebration of every young kid's hero, Manny, I give you the unsung heroes edition...

1. Team Sully (91): 2B Aaron Hill, a huge reason why Sully is on top, .366ba, 7HR, 27rbi, 25r, .411 OBP and 2 bags. At a light power position, Hill has outplayed pretty much every second baseman

2. Team Riz (90.5): OF Adam Lind, a FA pickup early April and the reason why I was able to trade Hawpe for Jenks, .336ba, 6HR's, 29rbi, 20r, .417 OBP, Lind, Braun, and Ethier have brough my OF solid consistent numbers.

3. Team Bags (80.5): OF Adam Jones, yes, the same guy that took Mark Sherez, got a steal with Jones, .359ba, 5Hr's, 19rbi, 30runs, 3 bags, and a .427OBP, solid year for a 3rd outfielder.

4. Team Fitz (78): I'll go with 1B Carlos Pena, 12 HR's at this point in a TB league is huge. Didnt really know which Pena Fitz would get but so far so good, .374 OBP is very solid.

5. Team Josh (75): RP Frank Franciso, an ERA of 0, WHIP 0.75, 9 saves and 13 K's, lightsout closer numbers from a guy he picked up late in the draft, those numbers are better than most elite closers

6. Team Crupi (68): Cueto, Crupi's butt buddy. 2-1, 1.65era, 29/9 K/BB, 1.04whip, Kershaw for Cueto trade looking pretty good, with his SP in shambles for most of the year, Cueto has been the only highlight

7. Team Chris (64.5): SP Joe Saunders, 4-1, 3.29, 16K's, 1.20 whip, with a staff that has struggled in ERA and WHIP, Saunders has provided a nice 5th day. Chris' staff has plenty of K's so Saunders has been huge.

8. Team Ev (53): 3B Zimmerman, coming off an injury season, a hit streak, 20rbi, 20run, 5HR'a and he is actually getting on base at almost 400, a risk that has been a reward

9. Team Sean (52.5): 3B Cantu, even with him being out a few weeks, he has been an anchor, 8HR's and a .400 OBP, much needed on a team without much offense

10. Team Brown (43.5): SP Hair Hurrhens, solid late pick for Brown, they deserve each other, 1.89era, 1.29whip, and 16K's, all quality starts, good back of the rotation guy

11. Team Sliggs (42.5): NJ resident Sean Higgins, great kid, always up for draft day phone sex, buys the same magazine as Dean does ("I like number 45, and 60" "oh you do too? then let's take 60") solid all year

12. Team Crowley (41): Shot LaBody, he reminds Crowley that life isn't all about fantasy baseball, or whacking off to the Brown League "Top 6", it's about destruction, drunk facebooking, and unleashing pure terror. Always ready at gametime.

Both of these guys have been suspended in their lifetime

Young Love....

Hump day update

cue the rump dance...30 seconds in, See-ya Leya, this rump was made for dancin'

Fast fact: the Top 5 teams have a combined 95 transactions, the other 7 have a combined 51. Fitz with the most at 38, Crowley in last and last in transactions with 3.

1. Team Sully: .179 OBP for the day, 10 TB's, lost points, .5 ahead

2. Team Riz: Lind, Ethier, and Votto continue to be my MVP's. Lind 2/5/0/6/.750 line

3. Team Fitz: big day for Fitz, 5/8/0/19/.421 day, Damon slaps a 3 run 215ft "shot" off Beckett, Garza and Bedard solid, save Brox and K Rod

4. Team Bags: Miggy 7TB's. Hart 3runs and a steal, Lincecum a win going 7 with 7K's

5. Team Josh: 6/7/1/25/.432, Josh has slipped of late, this should help, Cruz a dinger, Figgins stays hot, it's unreal that Josh's farts use to actually get stuck in his butt...

6. Team Crupi: uneventful, OBP at .282, Ludwick the lone brightspot, Pujols a shot off Lidge, Beltran continues hit streak

7. Team Chris: great at the plate, terrible on the mound, Molina and Pedroia lead the way with 9 TB's combined, Blalock continues to play well, Ellsbury a steal before leaving with a hammy, Wainwright pounded, K/BB this year stinks, Oswalt unimpressive before a finger injury

8. Team Ev: Zimmerman extends streak going 2/6, Crawford continues to swipe with another 1, AJ 7TB's on the bench

9. Team Sean: Bay a dinger off Joba, Joba taking his glove off after every strikeout is soooooooo annoying, Beckett a win

10. Team Sliggs: 10/7/1/21/.409, big day at the plate, Victorino 3/3/0/8/.800, Floyd and Myers not great, Myers a win, "Porcello" on the bench with a solid win, "tits"

11. Team Pete: Phillips finally breaks out, 1/6/0/6/.600, Dye 2/6, Volquez 8ip 7k's and a win

12. Team Crowley: Pence and IRod both 2/6, Guillen playing 3rd on the DL, Snell crappy in 5

Just in case this was your dealer...she's busted, and so is her face

God bless you please Mrs. Chamberlain....I mean Ms. Standley?

This guy is a real good dude

These guys play fantasy baseball...

Happy Stinko de Deano! Man that team is terrible...

985 N Pleasant.
Most of you in this league have either
1. puked here (Ev)
2. hooked up here (a lot)
3. played wiffle ball here (most)
4. been pulled over right in front(Josh)
5. won a 36 team beer pong tourney (the kid don't lose)


Let's go inside the numbers...



1. Team Sully (95.5) very well balanced, no holes although he is a little light on K's, picking up a setup man may bridge that gap. ARod will be back soon so the offense may only get better, someone steal Greinke's anxiety pills already, wtf





2. Team Riz (92) offensive powerhouse, and a 1 in steals. I have to make a deal for SB's. Rollins not getting on base hurts. 1.08 whip is nasty, Haren dominating. Two horse race





3. Team Bags (77) If he wants to win he will need another closer (3.5 saves). I'm very proud of Bags, he needs that infield to keep hitting, if not there goes the hit categories, Lopez and Bartlett? We shall see





4. Team Froggg (76) very lopsided team, 11's across the board for pitching except for wins, 3's in TB's and runs hurt, with Wright, Hanley, and Quentin slumping, this team is scary going forward.





5. Team Fitz (75.5) SB's, OBP, and Wins all need work, Carlos Lee needs to pick it up, not a lot of huge OBP guys so he needs to deal Broxton or K Rod to get some value, wins will come throughout the season





6. Team Crupi (67.5) up and down on a lot of categories, pitching needs improvement, Nolasco has been rough, needs Hamels to be that K guy, very light on K's. .388 OBP and an 11 in RBI's shows this team will produce given time.





7. Team Chris (67) This is why they say never draft wins, an 11 in wins, nothing higher than a 6 in every other P category. His staff is solid, Burnett, Oswalt need to string quality starts together, Wainwright has been good. In need of a closer, trade with Fitz.





8. Team Ev (63.5) 1's in ERA and WHIP is obviously terrible, hitting has been solid, Zimmerman hit streak, O Perez shouldnt be anywhere near a roster now in the pen, Liriano needs a turn around, dropping a few on that staff should help





9. Team Sean (49.5) and now the cellar teams, rough staff and no power, Beckett knocked around lately, Pettite giving that high WHIP, trim the fat, with Ortiz goes this offense, if he stinks all year no higher than this





10. Team Sliggs (41.5) he has a 12 in Saves, that's 29.5 points for 9 other categories, but he has a 12 in saves...





11. Team Crowley (40) he can steal bases, thats about it. Should trade the speed for some power, or trade for anything, another person who should trim that staff, but his success is "not listening to me" so keep doing what you're doin....lookin good!





12. Team Brown (35) can't hit to save his life or save the 99, needs Fielder, Aramis, Josh Hamilton to either hit, or come back and hit...welcome to the UMASS league my friend

Bags makin moves....

STATLER: I wonder if there really is life on another planet.

WALDORF: Why do you care? You don’t have a life on this one?

Waldorf: Bravo, bravo!

Statler: Why are you yelling bravo? Did you like it that much?

Waldorf: Nope; friend of mine, Joe Bravo, he's sitting in the front row. Bravo!

Statler: I like the steel Drums!

Waldorf: What?!?

Statler: THE PIGS' STEEL DRUMS!!!

Waldorf: I believe it! They'll take anything that isn't bolted down!

1. Team Sully: Kemp solid, Abreu swiped another bag, Suzuki a nice fill in pick up going 2/3

2. Team Riz: Lind and Ethier both with 2 hits, uneventful everyone else, no pitchers going

3. Team Fitz: Damon a dinger, a gem by Garza, he was consistently at an 0-2 count vs the Sox last night, save by big butt (not Crupi)

3. Team Frogggg: Figgins 2/4, both doubles, no pitchers went

5. Team Bags: big dump by Bags... I mean jump, 8/7/0/17/.444, Longoria 3/4 7TB's, Volstad and Mark Sherez were solid ("Mark Sherez still available? Josh: umm I guess?")

6. Team $: Jeter and Rios each 2/4, Burnett continues the crappy NYY pitching, place is a launching pad.

7. Team Crupi: big day for the Rumphumpster, 4/10/1/22/.452, Buck 8TB's, Pujols ripped one off Cabrera

8. Team Ev: continues his climb, Manny Dinger, Cameron stays hot going 3/4, Zimmerman extends hit streak to 19

9. Team Sean: Cantu 2/4/0/6/.400, Beckett was awful again, Napoli a dinger

10. Team Sliggins: stays terrible, .290 OBP, Holliday and Bradley both had DELUXE dingers, face

11. Team Brown: not much going on, C Perez a win, O Cab 2/5

12. Team Crowley: power struggle as to who will take the team over, my money is on Mr LaBody, BJ Upton turning it around, 2/5 with 2 runs